Most of us have a natural tendency to compare. We compare our kids to other kids, ourselves to our peers and friends, and so on. “Don’t compare apples to oranges” they say. “Don’t compare such that your words breed hurt and negativity,” we say.
Getting inspired looking at others is a great thing, but comparison that demeans is dangerous for the self esteem of kids.
Your intention maybe to get your child to do better at school, in sports or in other things like other kids. However, it is necessary to compare positively, if at all.
The way we compare kids is largely negative and builds a complex in kids. So what is the solution?
- Positive reinforcements: whenever your kids do something nice, however big or small, appreciate them. That helps build self esteem in your kids. Positive reinforcements help your kids understand what is good for them and what kind of actions and behavior is acceptable and good for their growth. The next time your little one brings you a glass of water, do appreciate them for being helpful and kind! However, the trick here is to be honest and genuine. Being farcical does not sell with little kids at all. 🙂
- Having role models: Pointing your kids to role models that they could look up to, either within the family or outside is a good way to inspire them. That way, they won’t feel slighted or belittled when you tell them how to learn certain traits from the role model.
- Stay away from sermons: Talk about the role model or even the positive reinforcements in a kind, fun and amicable way.
Let’s refrain from or in fact absolutely stop comparing our kids to their peers or even siblings in a demeaning way. That is just unfair and hurtful, and we as parents definitely don’t want to be either.
Be your child’s uplifting force. Here’s to positive, wonderful parenting!