Well, you must have heard ‘like father like daughter’ or ‘father’s princess’ -all phrases point towards a great father, daughter relationship.
I am totally a papa’s girl. I think dad and I built a relationship while tying my shoelaces or rushing to school. We both share a lot of common interests with little tweaks in opinion. Probably, this has made our relationship strong and made me believe that a woman can also have her opinions and ambitions in life.
I fondly observe the men around me who share a beautiful and unique father, daughter relationship. It completely negates the fact that a mother is only responsible to nurture their child. They have a profound impact in shaping their daughters’ life– from making male friends to life partners. Looking at their dads, daughters tend to imagine or expect how will their future partner be like.
Importance of father-daughter relationship:
Fathers are important. They are the biggest support pillar to a daughter. It has been stated that daughters grow up as an independent, bold, adventurous, practical person and most importantly no toxic men can influence their vision. Fathers are first and probably the only men whom daughters observe closely. Their behaviours influence daughters’ opinion towards men.
Fathers help build a secure and loving relationship for daughters with men. Most of my courage and support comes from my father who has always stood as a trendsetter in my life.
Benefits of a father-daughter relationship:
For me, the biggest benefit has been that I can be notorious without getting scared of mom. And getting things done in my own whims and fancy, because- dads can never say no to their daughters. Jokes apart.
One of the biggest benefits of having a strong father-daughter relationship is that a girl holds on to a reliable man and isn’t emotionally weak to get inclined towards any man who dominates her.
How to build or improve a father-daughter relationship?
Gone are the days, when father and daughter would maintain a safe but respectful distance among themselves. To build a comfortable relationship, fathers need to spend more quality time with their daughters. Below are some pointers to help you to establish an amazing relationship with your daughter.
1. Help your daughter with homework and studies:
Taking up homework and studies is just not a mother’s job. It can be yours too. Don’t be rude or scold her for making mistakes in her homework. It will scare her. Spend time with her to explain if she has any doubts in studies. You can be strict but not abusive. This will only strengthen your relationship with your daughter.
2. Get her ready for school:
On some days, ensure to get her ready for school. While doing that, you can talk to her about what her best friend in school said or did, with whom she had a fight. This habit can eventually help you in learning about her dreams, ambitions, opinions and lead to productive conversations in future. It will make her comfortable to come to you for any suggestions or advice.
3. Try to attend parents and teacher meetings at her school:
This will help you learn, how is she performing in school and if at all she is facing any kind of issues with her personality or making friends or coping with studies. Eventually, you can work with her on these problems. Also, you will stay connected with her teachers. It will make her feel, that she is important to you.
4. Look for some fun activities to spend time with her:
Go out to a sports club or take her to a playing ground. Spend some time playing with her and her friends (subjected to limited age time-4 to 10 years old or a little above). You can also teach her a sport that you know.
Take out time to watch movies with her. They enable great conversations. And it will also build a friendly relationship between you and your daughter (s). Lunch/dinner or random breakfast outing can help indulge in lengthy conversations. It is a very good way to spend time with your girl(s).
5. Know her friends and their parents:
There are two benefits of this, you will stay updated about what’s happening in your daughter’s life and secondly, you will also come to know her friends.
6. Go out for shopping with her:
Buy her toys, clothes, books. This will spill beans on her choices, favourites, likings etc. You will also get to know her better. Also, who else better than a father to give validation to a daughter!
7. Make her feel special and beautiful:
Don’t let her succumb to the stereotypical idea of beauty. Tell her, she is beautiful in every way. Weight, colour, height, disease or illness, weakness doesn’t matter, if you have a nice heart. A father’s validation on this has a huge impact on a girl. Because then she is never self-conscious of how she looks, rather feels confident.
How to overcome hesitations in your relationship?
I understand many a times fathers might have some hesitations in breaking a few conversations with their daughters, due to gender disparity. But hey! If you have practised what has been said above, then it will be easier for you to have all kinds of conversations.
Don’t hesitate in bringing up conversations about puberty– it is normal biological programming in females. Or about good and bad touch. Who else better than a father can talk about such a sensitive topic?
Father-daughter relationship issues and its effect:
You have read how a father’s presence in daughters life shapes her perception, attitude and emotions about men in the world. The differences between father and daughter might have a huge impact on her attitude.
Two of the major reflection of bad father, daughter relationship are, she might either grow up to become a shy person or be intimidated by any man, or she can turn to be an aggressive woman.
There have been several cases which have reported about unhealthy relationship between father and daughter and its effect on her. It will lead to several issues, especially when it comes to trusting men. It is also likely that she will build a sense of insecurity when she is around a man. Even otherwise she will feel insecure.
The consequences could lead to, she won’t trust men. She won’t be comfortable around a man. Any man who gives her more respect and comfort than her father, it will be very likely that she might get influenced by him and will easily submit to the dominance of him.
It will be difficult for her to sustain a healthy relationship, even with her husband/partner or a male friend.
I want my husband to be a father like my father. He should be as gentle and respectful as my father is. And I believe, most of the daughters think the same way. I don’t mean to say you have to be an idol for your daughter, but a father can be an ideal person, a girl needs in her life.