As parents, we always want to our kids to be safe. The world scares us, and the thought of our kids being out there on their own, is not easy.
However, in the wake of being protective, we sometimes end up being ‘over’ protective. My friend’s father makes it a point to pick up and drop my cousin wherever she goes. It was good when she was in school, okay when she was in college, got absolutely awkward when she had to go for interviews and is downright ridiculous when he drops her to the bus stop every morning when she is 29 years of age now.
She has had to have numerous discussions, outbursts, heart-to-hearts with her parents stop being over-protective and for allowing her to grow into a confident outgoing woman from a shy, scared teenager. Their worry affects them as well. It leads to health issues in the worrying, scared parents!
That’s why we all need to know that over-protective can cripple our kids, hurt their self esteem and stab their confidence.
Good exposure to the world outside is necessary. Here’s how we can make it happen for our kids:
- Let the kids explore the world. Let them go on trips all alone. And please do not call them every 30 minutes to check if they are ok.
- Do not hover over them all the time. It makes them believe they are not good enough. I heard a child telling her maid as a slight gust of air blew across her face – “Please take me home otherwise I will fall sick.” Can you imagine? Just a gust of air and she believes she might fall sick?
- Do not treat them like weak wicks in an oil lamp that will die if not protected.
- Help your kids become confident, worldly wise and strong, come what may.
- Embrace discussions and positive reinforcements. As the saying goes, “Do not make the path ready for them. Make them ready for the path.”
- Be the friend they can confide in, and stand by them when they fall. They will then be okay with falling, getting up, brushing off, and walking confidently again.
When we are over-protective, our kids do not believe in themselves and even in adulthood, they always need endorsement. Empower your kids to take chase good ambitions knowing fully well, their path is difficult yet possible. Our videos on Building Self Esteem could help you achieve that for your kids.