The most important thing your child needs on a daily basis is the undivided attention from you. Even plants thrive when they are taken cared.
Did you know, undivided attention is the purest form of generosity?
Wondering if your kids actually NEED undivided attention?
Irrespective of their age, children NEED undivided attention. Just the way human beings need Oxygen to survive.
Are they getting that from us?
Embroiled in our routine and struggles, we sometimes forget to give them undivided attention. Our days are planned in such a way, that we are having a schedule that is packed with work. When time is a little short in supply, we tend to skip spending time with our kids.
Our kids are constantly learning numerous things in numerous subjects. Also, with numerous subjects and things to learn they are explorers of the best kind! Undivided attention gets the best out of these explorers. They want the parents to be interested in what they are learning. It gives them huge joy when parents are inquisitive about what the kids are absorbing from life.
Oh ho, you might be thinking, “Arre baba, we know our kids need attention”. Well, we know that YOU KNOW your children thrive with attention. But what are we actually doing towards it?
Or, “Are we doing it enough?”
When our children need our undivided attention, are we by any chance, unavailable because of doing all these other things?
- Distracted by TV
- Busy cooking food
- Involved in phone calls
- Being physically absent
- Attending to pending emails
- Occupied with our social media updates
Anything at all that keeps us away from attending to the child when they need us, makes them feel unimportant and unwanted.
We understand, as a working parent, you do not have a lot of time during the day to sit with your children. But in the evening when you return home, you should be able to take out time and give attention to your children.
Make the kids feel that they can confide in you. Be their confidante’.
Let’s look at a few examples –
Sometimes it might so happen that during the morning when your kid wakes up, you are busy in the kitchen preparing food for the day. There is no physical contact like a good morning hug. We understand that you have a really tight morning schedule. However, here is a suggestion. Stop everything that you are doing, and have a funny, lively hug for a like 30 seconds. It would make them feel lively and fresh. If you can take out a little time early in the morning for that hug, it will make your kids day.
Let’s do it from tomorrow onwards, what say?
When the child is going to school, he might say “I am going to school, bye”. Busy with your work you might be absentmindedly replying, “Okay, study well”. Even though you have all the love in your heart, a child does not feel connected with such a reply. We understand that you have a tight schedule. In spite of that, stop doing what you were doing for two minutes, just go and give the kid a warm hug before saying bye, go to the balcony from where you can see them going, wave a bye from there to, stay there as long as they are in your eyesight. You have made his day. You have made him feel important. You have made him believe, he is somebody valuable.
As adults we look for encouragement before going for something important so why not kids? Kids need it more. So when there an important day in your kid’s life, how about starting the day with a hi-fi, celebrations, laughter, all the bests etc? Sounds good right? That is what undivided attention is all about.
Your child comes back from school and says, “I did not have a good day at school”. As a father are you ready to switch off the TV or leave your phone and give the child undivided attention? We understand that after a really long day you want some time to yourself. But if you keep looking at the TV, the child will feel that his life, his struggles, his pains are not so important. Hence, giving Undivided attention in such a situation is necessary for the children.
You don’t want the child to feel less important right? Leave everything for just five minutes and listen to the child giving him undivided attention.
With our extremely busy schedules, our interactions with our kids have become absent-minded because we hardly have the mind space to be completely involved.
Can you remember any incident in the immediate past where you actually had time to give your kids undivided attention?
How would you feel when you are talking, someone looks at you, listens with attention, their eyes shine with encouragement? They make you believe you are ‘important’. That is exactly what our kids need. Children thrive with undivided attention.
Undivided attention makes your kids believe they are ‘important’. Even if it is for 5 minutes, give the child complete undivided attention. They will then open up to you like never before. As a result, both of you will bond at a level which you might not have experienced earlier.
Think of yourself even as adults we crave attention. So it’s not wrong for our kids to seek validation through undivided attention. Sit and listen to your kid, give them your undivided attention. Sometimes our children don’t come to us for a solution, they just want us to listen to them.
If you are already leaving aside all distractions aside and giving your child undivided attention, you are a WowParent!