Triggers in parenting
It’s common to see parents flaring up at children. This leaves the children baffled and withdrawn. Worst case, they distance themselves emotionally, from their parents.
You and me might justify our flaring up by saying,
“I am under pressure/stress.
I have told you this so many times yet you don’t listen.
You know this is my weakness. Yet why do you do it and make me angry? etc.”
However we justify, this is not good at all.
How to resolve it?
It’s important to know your triggers. Is it a look your child gives you, or is it coming home to a messy house? Is it when they nag you or is it when they don’t respond when you call out their name?
Know your triggers and have a plan on how you want to respond to them.
Think about the consequences of fighting with your child – you’ll feel upset and the problem may not get resolved. Later on, you might drown in regret too.
Then, think about the positive consequences if you handle it in a different way. You won’t be drained and frustrated all night. Your bonding will become stronger. The house will be filled with laughter and joy.
I have realised, there are two different directions I can choose from – Pain or Gain.