Rahul’s parents were highly affectionate and doting towards him. His parents were okay if he slept late and didn’t wake him up for school. They also allowed him to miss school. He was given all sorts of gadgets and at times his misbehavior was ignored by his parents. Now, this kind of parenting style is known as a permissive parenting style. What do you think as a parent, can be the effects of permissive parenting style on the child?
Are you a negligent parent? Are you overlooking the bad behavior or the mischief of your child? Do you give in to the demands of your kid and ignore their mistakes? If the answer to the above set of questions is ‘yes’ then you are one of them. Well, in simple words, permissive parenting is a style where parents adopt a very laid back approach towards their child. Here, usually, they love to fulfill the needs of their kids without or exercising less discipline.
What are the characteristics of the permissive parenting style?
1. Parents behave like casual friends:
This is one of the most important characteristics of permissive parents. It is good to be a friend to your child, but that doesn’t mean that your child overlooks the discipline and you become tolerant towards their bad behavior.
2. Parents provide excessive freedom:
This particular parenting style believes in giving too much freedom to the kids furthermore; not holding them responsible for their actions. Ultimately, the effects of permissive parenting style can be worse and the child has to suffer in the future.
3. Parents do not pay attention to the conflicts:
The parents practicing the permissive parenting style have a laid back attitude and do not confront their kids for any misbehavior.
4. Allow a lot of screen time & junk food:
A permissive parent is also seen buying their kids a lot of outside food especially junk foods in the name of “rewards” or “celebrations” and there’s also no set time for watching TV.
5. Bribing child to get things done:
Parents are often seen bribing their kids with toys, chocolates, and other such lucrative items to get the things done. For e.g., if the child doesn’t agree to do the homework, bribing with something works in completing his school work.
6. Parents want to impress:
The parents want to impress their kids, they want to be liked and adored in this kind of parenting style, therefore; they agree to whatever their kids demand. Parents do not like to upset their children.
Effects of permissive parenting style on your child:
Being a parent if your approach is lenient towards your child, you will eventually notice that your child is developing certain habits and behavior which are not good. In other words, you may have to face some ill- effects of permissive parenting style. These include:
1. Your child becomes impulsive:
Your child gets angry and throws tantrums to make sure his demands get fulfilled. He does not want to take up the responsibility of his actions, all of this is because of the neglectful parenting.
2. Your child gets into routine fights & bullies others:
There are complaints against your child of him getting into the fights with other kids. You can see that they do not follow any instructions and they have a hard time following the rules. They are not scared of the consequences or even punishments.
3. Not good at academics:
Highly pampered kids are seen not taking their education seriously hence; they are poor performers in academics. They don’t seem to care much about their score and make no efforts in improving the same.
4. Have behavioral issues:
Children who are brought up with permissive kind of parenting style usually develop behavioral problems. The child grows up to be an irresponsible adult having a careless attitude towards life. The kids also find it difficult to deal with their own faults.
5. Poor decision-making skills:
As parents do not practices discipline or any kind of schedule for their children, the kids tend to become lazy and lack the apt of decision making and problem-solving capabilities.
6. Emotional insufficiency:
In a neglectful parenting style, the parents tend to overlook the mischief and bad behavior. They do not want to upset their kids. What’s more, parents meet all the demands of their kids and thus try to create a happy atmosphere. This kind of permissive parenting strategies eventually starts hampering the kid’s emotions and finds it tough in dealing with their own emotions.
7. Lacks in managing time and schedule:
When your child lacks any kind of schedule or structure to maintain, it becomes tough for them to get into the right habits. They may excessively watch television or play with the gadgets and video games or binge on junk food items which are not right.
Your child will develop unhealthy eating habits leading to obesity and other health complications.
Permissive parenting style – Pros & cons:
Benefits of this negligent parenting style:
Indulgent parenting style mainly focuses on being friendly with the child rather being a strict parent. It helps parents understand their child better along with improving communication which makes it even easy when they grow old. The benefits of permissive parenting are:
1. Less conflict with your kids:
Parents do not want to upset their kids; hence they give in to the demands. That’s the reason there are lesser conflicts and a peaceful environment at home.
2. The creative side of your child is tapped:
Permissive parent style permits freedom hence places no limitations on their kids. That’s the reason kids happen to explore everything and become adventurous unleashing their talent/creativity.
3. Loving and caring:
Parents who are permissive make their kids a priority hence they go to greater lengths in making them happy. This works great especially when they want to improve their unhappy parent-child relationship. Also; the parents themselves might have faced struggles and painful relationship with their parents hence they would not wish their kids go through the same treatment and remain deprived of the things they were.
Cons of negligent parenting style:
1.No parental control over the kids:
Here the kids are in charge of their behavior hence, the kids realize that their parents don’t want to upset them or wish to confront them. The kids tend to manipulate parents for various reasons.
2. Emotionally imbalanced:
Children, who grew up with their permissive parents have a hard time regulating their emotions especially when they do not get what they want.
3. There’s a conflict between the need and want:
As the kid grows older, he gets in the habit of getting his desires and wishes fulfilled. Parents with elder kids have a hard time figuring out what is right and appropriate for hence the conflict arises.
There is nothing wrong in fulfilling your kid’s demands but there is a certain way and a limit which is important to practice. Also, when you are responding to your child’s demands, you need to make sure that they are respectful, good in their behavior and do follow discipline in day to day things. This makes your kids responsible.