We have been inundated with parenting queries in our Q&A section. It is heartening to see parents open up and find solutions and respite to their parenting woes. Naren, our resident parenting expert and co-founder, takes out time every day to lovingly answer these queries. Here’s one query that caught my attention. Check out Naren’s reply to this parenting query if you worry about your child’s progress and future as well (we don’t share the identity of the parents here. We take privacy very seriously).
Here is is the Q&A:
An anxious parent asked, “My child is a slow learner. I am very worried about his future. In today’s competitive world, he will be crushed, right? What should I do?”
Here is Naren’s awesome revert to the parenting query: Let us answer through a true life story
Chip and Dan Heath are the authors of Made to Stick and Switch:
How to Change Things When Change is Hard. They incorporate three ideas in their one-pager that is dear to our work: stories, positive deviance, and changing behavior. Here is what they wrote once. A troubled teenager named Bobby was sent to see his high-school counselor, John Murphy. Bobby had been in trouble so many times that he was in danger of being transferred to a special school for ‘kids with behavioral problems’.
Most counselors would have discussed Bobby’s problems with him, but Murphy didn’t. MURPHY: Bobby, are there classes where you don’t get in trouble? BOBBY: I don’t get in trouble much in Ms. Smith’s class. MURPHY:
What’s different about Ms. Smith’s class?
Soon Murphy had some concrete answers: 1. Ms. Smith greeted him at the door. 2. She checked to make sure he understood his assignments. 3. She gave him easier work to complete. (His other teachers did none of the three.) Now Murphy had a roadmap for change. He advised Bobby’s other teachers to try these three techniques. Lo and behold, Bobby started behaving better.
Moral of the story:
We’re wired to focus on what’s not working. But Murphy asked, “What Is working? How can we do more of it?” You’re probably trying to change things at home or at work. Stop agonizing about what’s not working. Instead, ask yourself, “What’s working well, right now, and how can I do more of it?” Wait no more.
Go here and type your parenting query to us right away. Naren will write back to you in a jiffy with an awesome solution.