Why do you make your kids study? Is it for their financial security? Are studies enough to make your child successful in career? Now that’s interesting, isn’t it? What he needs, in addition, is Emotional Quotient?
We have lived our entire lives thinking when we complete our studies the world will be waiting with open arms to give us great opportunities and reward us handsomely. But was is the reality? Most of us faced terrific disappointments after we completed our education. We discovered, what we have is not enough for the world. What was missing?
A few years ago, organizations started taking IQ (intelligence quotient) tests that revealed the ‘intelligence’ of the interviewees.
The new changes in the industries demanded to check IQ as they realized, candidates who come with good marks, were not qualified to ‘WORK’. What came as a surprise was, most of the candidates were academically strong but were unable to work in the industry conditions.
Why did this happen?
Because there was and there is still a huge disparity in the studying pattern and demands of the industries. These candidates were too good with memorizing the answers but could not practically implement it.
In some cases, it was just luck. What they studied, came in the exams. These are the people who often study on the last minute and ‘manage’ to score. Sadly they mislead many others to do the same and scrape through. This is dangerous for their future.
There are rare cases too.
In a few cases, it was indeed good studies and intelligent understanding. The percent of the last category needed to be improved. This last category is what companies are searching for. HR people realized mistakes were happening when people were recruited based only on marks. Hence, IQ tests were introduced. It tested the ability of people to ‘solve’ rather than to ‘remember’.
Let’s Understand what exactly this Intelligent Quotient is?
Intelligence Quotient or IQ is the problem solving and logical reasoning ability. Your IQ Score is higher when you are good at problem solving. Intelligence Quotient is present in the genes. IQ can be passed on from parents to their children. Though, it still doesn’t seem as it sounds. There are some factors that are involved in the genetics of IQ. But it is said that it’s not necessary that the parents who have very good IQ will have a child who will inherit the same. Such children might be born with an above average IQ.
Recent studies show that parenting characteristics are not significant enough to contribute to the variation in IQ scores, however, poor prenatal environment, unhealthy diet or malnutrition, and even diseases can have bad effects.
Why is IQ important?
IQ determines a human’s intelligence. IQ plays an important role at the beginning of childhood as that’s the time when parents can alter or enhance their child’s intelligence. The more puzzles you solve, the more IQ you will have. Puzzles like Sudoku, word search, and normal riddles can help increase your IQ.
High IQ is demanded for almost all the industries today. If your child is aiming for such jobs, make sure you help them with many puzzles and riddles and make sure that the difficulty level of these riddles increases time to time.
Since these IQ tests were giving them good results, they got encouraged to research how to make things better. Besides the IQ test, another new test called the EQ (Emotional Quotient) test was introduced.
What is Emotional Quotient test?
EQ is the emotional quotient, even called emotional intelligence. EQ levels suggest how properly you handle your emotions like anger, fear, jealousy etc. It takes into consideration not just your feelings but others’ too. The way you manage your and others’ emotional state determines how good your EQ is.
This tested the ability of candidates to be emotionally stable. After all, who wants a person who panics, who has fear, who becomes jealous, who becomes angry fast? This person can never work as a Team Player. For best results, great teamwork is mandatory.
Candidates with low emotional quotient cannot give their 100% to their own work, which will limit their and their company’s progress too.
Now that is a red alert.
Parents are the first tutor in Emotional Quotient-
Children learn so much from their parents. EQ is very necessary for a great bond between parents and children. EQ plays an important role when you and your child are trying to bond over the years immediately after birth. This is the time when kids are trying to understand the environment, their family and their place in everything.
How to establish good Emotional Quotient?
Children have fresh minds, they get influenced by whoever and whatever. EQ is the way you can help them manage their moods, feelings, emotions as well as thinking processes.
You need to take some simple steps:
Become aware of your actions and words while you are with your children. You are a role model for them and they will learn from you. Think before reacting to a situation even if it annoys you. Open your ears and listen to the world around you. Take in consideration of others’ feelings too.
Control your emotions and feelings while you are with your children. Don’t abuse or physically harm your children because this will indeed create a complex in your child which will result in fear. Don’t behave roughly with someone or don’t lose your self-respect when someone insults you. If you stand up for yourself, your children will learn to stand up for themselves too.
Shower your unconditional love and understanding to them. Understand them and make them understand too. Build up good communication with them. Let them realize that you are there for them and they can rely on you for the future.
Match and mirror:
You need to match and mirror your children’s emotions and feelings. If they are happy, you can mirror their reactions like clapping, shouting, dancing and much more. This will make your child feel special and will build more trust in you.
Why is Emotional Quotient in children important?
As there is a famous quote: A healthy mind results in a healthy body. This is the simplest way of explaining why our Emotional Quotient matters. This generation’s children are becoming a victim of the upcoming trends like social media, body-shaming and much more. This is where EQ will help your child. EQ is not passed on like IQ in the genes, it is taught by the parents to their children.
If you behave in a certain way, it’s likely that your children will also behave like that. You have to be in control, build awareness and empathy when you are with your children.
Children don’t understand things fully, it is important for them to control themselves from an early age. If they don’t, they won’t know how to control their feelings of fear, anger or sadness. It’s important for them to realize how vulnerable they can be to the outside world sometimes.
At the tender age, children feel that everyone loves them and everyone will always be there for them. During their teenage years, they don’t always get what they want. This is where their EQ will step in. They need to learn to control feelings and emotions so that they become strong enough to encounter every negative situation that life throws at them.
Coping with Stress and Depression in children through good Emotional Quotient-
Anxiety and depression can arrive at any time and at any age in a human being. Research shows that ‘Anxiety’ is the highest during the teenage years of children. When they start going to college, they are explored to the outside world and face difficult situations. It becomes tough for them to handle everything that is changing in their life at the same time.
Parents’ expectations, studies, new peers, greater social pressure, their raging hormones, their own mental health becomes too much for them to handle. This is where you need to step in and talk to them about everything that happens in their crucial education years.
Bullying is one major cause of depression in such children but unfortunately, it doesn’t come up due to fear. Parents are often disregarded in such topics as the teenager might stick to telling these things to only their friends fearing parents won’t understand or parents will panic or parents will create new rules.
One way of calming down your teenager is mindfulness practices.
Let’s look at an example:
Step 1: Whenever your teenager is stressed, make him lay down on the floor.
Step 2: Place his favorite toy or thing on his stomach.
Step 3: Tell him to gently focus on the object as it rises and falls with his stomach.
His breathing will lower down to the normal breathing rate which will be calm and peaceful. In his head, he will leave his worries and just focus on the object. This will also help with his concentration and focus.
There is another example especially for those who feel very anxious-
Whenever you or anyone around you feel anxious and worried, just breathe.
Inhale, hold your breath for 5 seconds and exhale. Repeat this few times.
This will instantly make you calm. You will focus on your breath and your mind will wander off from the issues of worry.
When one has time, IQ comes in the picture when one has time. But such is not the case with EQ. It comes into the picture when there are current emotional turmoils.
What happens when your children have IQ + EQ?
When faced with difficult situations, they will carry ‘Self-Belief’!
When faced with angry people, they will know how to calm people down!
When faced with a tragedy, they are able to establish positivity!
When faced with critical situations, they are able to make important well thought of choices.
While qualifications will provide a beginning, IQ + EQ helps us to take-off.
While studies will help them to gain an interview call, their IQ + EQ will help them with getting employment and creating a career. In case they want to be a businessman, it is their IQ and EQ that will be the solid support in making the best of the opportunities.
Parents and Emotional Quotient-
As parents focus more on marks and studies, which indeed shows that they focus more on good IQ, they often forget that good EQ is also necessary. EQ needs to be nurtured during the initial stages of life. Again, they need to learn to handle their feelings and emotions at every moment when life throws negative situations at them. With them, you also need to comfort them with your EQ. Even if you don’t have good EQ, try to understand and empathize with them.
Good IQ might get your kid the best job, but bad EQ might ruin their lives. With Intelligence quotient + Emotional quotient, no hurdle will be high, no problems will be big. When faced with difficult situations, their BEST will come out. Even if they make mistakes, as all of us do, they will bounce back big.
Manufacturers expose their products to rigorous tests. The products that stand the toughest of tests are the most premium products. Similarly, the challenges of life will be their vigorous tests from which they must emerge victoriously and be a premium product.
When they study, let them study well. Let them give their 100% to master the subjects. Along with that, help them to develop their IQ and EQ. Besides studies, besides your qualifications, what will help them ‘succeed’ in life are their IQ + EQ.