#AtoZ Parenting

A major contributor in creating complexes in your child is harsh discipline AtoZChallenge Post 19

Did you know there is something called tough love and something called rough love?

Tough love is when you want your child to be disciplined and in your tone/approach, there is respect for your child. In your methods there is patience. You have empathy. You understand the struggles your child is going through. But, since you know it is necessary, you are tough.

For example, your child wants to watch a movie but the school project work is still pending. You know that your child has been waiting to see this movie for weeks but the project work has to be submitted tomorrow. Your child comes to you with a request may he be allowed to see the movie. You should hug the child, kiss the child and empathize with them. You say “I understand your pain, but all of us have to face the consequence of our choices”. You make him understand that he delayed the project work without genuine reasons. You empathize by saying, “Even though I understand your pain, you must be responsible for your choices”. You tell your child that you will help him every way you can to complete the project work but till it is done he cannot engage in other ‘comparatively non-essential’ activities.

The child will feel the pain of missing out on the movie but believe me this experience will help him in the long run. Whenever there is project work, he will make sure he finishes it on time. This is tough love.

Here you love the child and respectfully deal with the situation. Your child may not like you for that night. He might be angry too, but, in the long run, your child will thank you for lovingly teaching him discipline.

On the other hand, ‘rough love’ is when, in the same situation, you scream at the child, shout at the child, make them fall in their own eyes or make them feel really low about themselves. You call your child names or say hurtful things like,  ‘You cannot do anything right in life’. This is showcasing rough love or harsh discipline

At Wow Parenting, we understand that both ‘tough love’ and ‘rough love’ are born out of concern for the future of your child. Love is still present in both situations.

In tough love, the hurt is superficial and for short-term. In the long term, it creates self-esteem and self-belief.

In rough love or harsh discipline, the hurt is very deep and long-term. Rough love creates a complex in a child.

So,

  1. If you find that your child does things at the last moment…
  2. If you find that your child was irresponsible in a situation…
  3. If you find your child giving excuses and passing on blames…

…will you practice ‘tough love or rough love’?

In all these cases if you become rough or let your child make mistakes casually, they will never learn discipline.

With harsh discipline, the child is left with deep hurt and anguish that leads to complexes, which eventually turns to lack of self-esteem in kids.

On the other hand, when you practice tough love, you are composed, you understand the pain yet your child understands that they cannot take things for granted. This tough love will create the child.

May you ALWAYS practice TOUGH LOVE and NEVER EVER rough love.

 

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Here’s our kickass theme reveal post for #AtoZChallenge

Here’s the 1st post for #AtoZChallenge – Are you a Parent with Smart questions?

Here’s the 2nd post for #AtoZChallenge – What is a Parent’s greatest legacy?

Here’s the 3rd post for #AtoZChallenge – Have you taught your kids how to deal with failure?

Here’s the 4th post for #AtoZChallenge – How to deal with Anxiety and depression in children?

Here’s the 5th post for #AtoZChallenge – 7 way in which FREE Play benefits Children

Here’s the 6th post for #AtoZChallenge – Communication – A Key To Build A Strong Foundation in Kids

Here’s the 7th post for #AtoZChallenge – Age-based Communication in Parenting

Here’s the 8th post for #AtoZChallenge – Importance of Quality Family Time

Here’s our 9th post for #AtoZChallenge –How to raise a child with Empathy

Here’s our 10th post for #AtoZChallenge – Does Raising a Child need validation too?

Here’s our 11th post for #AtoZChallenge – Giving Your Child A Sense Of Belonging To The Family 

Here’s our 12th post for #AtoZChallenge – How Role Models Transform Your Child?

Here’s our 13th post for #AtoZChallenge – The Power Of Unconditional Love

Here’s our 14th post for #AtoZChallenge – How Important Is It To Have A Parenting Structure!

Here’s our 15th post for #AtoZChallenge – Lack of Affection from family can hamper a child’s growth 

Here’s our 16th post for #AtoZChallenge – Appreciate Your Child And Become A WOWParent

Here’s our 17th post for #AtoZChallenge – Abuse By Parents Can Destroy A Child’s Self-Esteem

Here’s our 18th post for #AtoZChallenge – How Frequently Do You Find Yourself Comparing Your Child To Someone Else? 

The Author

Ria Banerjee

Ria Banerjee

A writing enthusiast who aspires to be a novelist, Ria has been writing content for corporates for over 5 years now. She combines her education in Liberal Arts with her inclination for writing, to build delightful content pieces.

Ria is an avid reader, interested in technology, politics, travel, and food. She’s a travel enthusiast. Backpacking around Europe is at the top of her bucket list. If you don't find her in office you can find her in the nearest cafe munching food while she is reading a book.

1 Comment

  1. April 23, 2018 at 3:16 pm — Reply

    I practice the tough love. With rough love, we drift away from the child and it’s worse than murdering. T is ten commandments https://syncwithdeep.wordpress.com/2018/04/23/t-ten-commandments-blogchattera2z-atozchallenge-atoz/

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