#AtoZ Parenting

Threats are very dangerous in parenting, it hampers self-belief. #AtoZChallenge Post 21

Can we as parents take a step back and think about how often we have used threats to get a job done?

Is ‘THREATS’, the easy way to the get a job done?

At some point of parenthood, we all have used threats. Let’s explore a few examples –

  1. “If you don’t listen to Mumma, I will hand you over to the police”
  2. “If you don’t go to sleep, the witches will come and take you away”
  3. “If you don’t listen to me, I will not talk to you”
  4. “If you don’t complete this, you will not get that chocolate”
  5. “If you don’t do what I am asking you to, no holidays for you this summer”
  6. “If you don’t listen to me right now, you will not be allowed to go down to play”
  7. “If you don’t eat this, I will give you away.”

Ever wondered besides getting things done, what harm do these threats actually do?
Ever wondered if threats are the best way of getting things done or are there alternatives we should seek?

There are a few classic ways in which one person looks at another person. For example :

  1. Because I am threatened and things are in YOUR control, I will cooperate. But the day your threats don’t matter, you will lose complete control. Threats work with a child only till the child is independent.
  2. When we continue to threaten our kids to get things done, one day, sooner or later, kids will turn around and say “Do what you want, I am not going to listen to you.” That day, you have lost the special bond with your child, forever. The day the child faces up to your threat, the relationship is scarred.
  3. Threats create a complex because it makes the other person believe, “I am not good enough, therefore punishment is the only answer my parents have”.

Compliance because of threats is very short term. It always has repercussions. Therefore, it may not be worthwhile at all. Instead of threatening, talk to your child with respect. Respect builds self-esteem. Threats destroy self-esteem.

Stop threatening your child for anything and everything. If a thing has to be done, think about creative ways in which you can get things done.

  1. Can you inspire them and get it done?
  2. Can you playfully get it done?
  3. Can you get it done as a special request?
  4. Can you appeal to the noble in your child and get it done?
  5. Can you make the work interesting and get it done?
  6. Can the mention of an invisible peer pressure, help you to get it done?
  7. Can you get it done as a favor to you?
  8. Can the lure of rewards/recognition help you to get it done?
  9. Can silent treatment get it done?
  10. Can appreciation get it done?

Finding ways to get it done may irritate you. We completely understand that. However, in the long-term interests of your child, our strong suggestion is, respect your child in spite of everything and focus on innovative ways to get them to cooperate and get things done.

Once you get the knack of it, it is going to super excite you. You may lose the ability to threaten. You will love yourself for the same.

Give up on trying to ‘control’ your kid. Establish a relationship of understanding. Explain the concerns, the errors, the practices necessary and set boundaries. Have a no-nonsense approach everywhere required.

However hard it is, respectfully discuss issues with your child and set mutually amicable boundaries. Respect, don’t threaten. Discuss, don’t order. Guide, don’t control. Convince, don’t threaten.

 

 

Register for our free Webinar on May 4th to Learn how to create a strong bond with your Children

Here’s our kickass theme reveal post for #AtoZChallenge

Here’s the 1st post for #AtoZChallenge – Are you a Parent with Smart questions?

Here’s the 2nd post for #AtoZChallenge – What is a Parent’s greatest legacy?

Here’s the 3rd post for #AtoZChallenge – Have you taught your kids how to deal with failure?

Here’s the 4th post for #AtoZChallenge – How to deal with Anxiety and depression in children?

Here’s the 5th post for #AtoZChallenge – 7 way in which FREE Play benefits Children

Here’s the 6th post for #AtoZChallenge – Communication – A Key To Build A Strong Foundation in Kids

Here’s the 7th post for #AtoZChallenge – Age-based Communication in Parenting

Here’s the 8th post for #AtoZChallenge – Importance of Quality Family Time

Here’s our 9th post for #AtoZChallenge –How to raise a child with Empathy

Here’s our 10th post for #AtoZChallenge – Does Raising a Child need validation too?

Here’s our 11th post for #AtoZChallenge – Giving Your Child A Sense Of Belonging To The Family 

Here’s our 12th post for #AtoZChallenge – How Role Models Transform Your Child?

Here’s our 13th post for #AtoZChallenge – The Power Of Unconditional Love

Here’s our 14th post for #AtoZChallenge – How Important Is It To Have A Parenting Structure!

Here’s our 15th post for #AtoZChallenge – Lack of Affection from family can hamper a child’s growth 

Here’s our 16th post for #AtoZChallenge – Appreciate Your Child And Become A WOWParent

Here’s our 17th post for #AtoZChallenge – Abuse By Parents Can Destroy A Child’s Self-Esteem

Here’s our 18th post for #AtoZChallenge – How Frequently Do You Find Yourself Comparing Your Child To Someone Else? 

Here’s our 19th post for #AtoZChallenge – A Major Contributor In Creating Complexes In Your Child Is Harsh Discipline

Here’s our 20th post for #AtoZChallenge – Over-Protection By Parents Shakes The Confidence Of The Child 

The Author

Ria Banerjee

Ria Banerjee

A writing enthusiast who aspires to be a novelist, Ria has been writing content for corporates for over 5 years now. She combines her education in Liberal Arts with her inclination for writing, to build delightful content pieces.

Ria is an avid reader, interested in technology, politics, travel, and food. She’s a travel enthusiast. Backpacking around Europe is at the top of her bucket list. If you don't find her in office you can find her in the nearest cafe munching food while she is reading a book.

No Comment

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *