#AtoZ Parenting

Giving your child a sense of belonging to the family #AtoZChallenge Post 11

A sense of belonging is vital during the formative years of your child.

Has it ever happened to you that you have used statements like –

  1. I feel like running away from this place
  2. Don’t feel I belong here
  3. I should not have come here at all

Imagine your child having a thought like that about home. Sounds unbelievable right?

Well, it happens.

A sense of belonging is, where you make your child feel like an integral and cherished, part of the family.

There are two basic ways with which we interact with our children

  1. Hoist our decisions on them
  2. Make them a part of the decision-making process

Hoisting our decisions on them is like, “Make this for dinner”, or “Let us go to a holiday to…” or, “I have purchased this TV” or “We are shifting to a new locality”. It makes them feel isolated and like a tourist in their own home.

In day-to-day life, children like to believe that their opinion is valued.  If you are making small decisions like, “What should we get for dinner?” or “Which movie should we watch?”, to bigger decisions like, “Should we buy a new TV?” or “Shift to a new locality?”, asking for a child’s opinion gives them a sense of belonging to the family.

When you involve them in the decision-making process, they feel like they have a say. They feel like their opinion matters.

Instead of hoisting your decision, it is always good to discuss issues with your children. They get a sense of belonging. Whenever there is an environment of belonging to the family –

  • Laughter is easy
  • Transparency is possible
  • Hurt does not stay
  • Anger might come but disappears quickly
  • Nobody minds each other’s moments of weaknesses  
  • There is a tremendous bonding
  • Intimacy develops

Without a sense of belonging, bonding is impossible. When there is bonding there is a belief within the child that, they are not alone. They have the fantastic support they can count on in moments of despair or decision making.

Another simple way of making your children believe that they belong, is with a simple hug. I know that as parents we often hug our children before bed or when they achieve something. Give a few more hugs to instill a sense of belonging to your child. A wise man once said, “A family that hugs together, stays together”. Who is that wise man? Me, of course!!!

Actionable Parenting tip for creating a sense of belonging

Hug your child when they are right, but when they are wrong, give them a tighter hug. See, when a child is right, the entire world appreciates them. They are appreciated by so many people that if you miss appreciating them they will not feel so left out.

On the other hand, when your child does something wrong they need to know, even if the world is against them, the family will back them up. Their place at home is never under threat. They always belong there. At that time if you give your child a tight hug and tell them, “I understand my child, it happens” or “Do you need my help to bounce back?”, it can do wonders. You give them the sense of belonging through that tight hug.

When things are not working out well for them, knowing that they ‘belong’ to a loving family, lifts their spirits pretty fast and very high.

Need to belong is like oxygen. Just like a human being cannot survive without oxygen, a human being also looks for a sense of belonging to his family. Without a sense of belonging, we all feel lost.

The child needs a sense of belonging, and sense a security at home. If a child does not feel that sense of belonging at home, it searches for other communities to belong to. Like, you might see children getting crazy tattoos or weird hairstyles. They might not even like it, but with those, they feel that they belong to a certain group of people. If they do not find that sense of belonging at home they tend to look elsewhere.

A sense of belonging is primary. Fill your child’s life with the feeling that you belong in this home, give them that security. Fill your family moments with unconditional hugs.

To summarize

Children give simple and good insights. You will be amazed at their thought process and the value they bring to the discussion. Hug a lot, talk openly, and watch the magic happen. With a heightened sense of belonging, your kids will see you as a friend and connect with you, easily. You will be a lighter, warmer, more expressive, family unit.

We know as parents you try very hard to give that sense of belonging to your child. For all your efforts, a big hug to you for belonging to the WOW parenting family.

 

If you are already doing it, you are a WOW Parent.

 

Register for our free Webinar on May 4th to Learn how to create a strong bond with your Children

Here’s our kickass theme reveal post for #AtoZChallenge

Here’s the 1st post for #AtoZChallenge – Are you a Parent with Smart questions?

Here’s the 2nd post for #AtoZChallenge – What is a Parent’s greatest legacy?

Here’s the 3rd post for #AtoZChallenge – Have you taught your kids how to deal with failure?

Here’s the 4th post for #AtoZChallenge – How to deal with Anxiety and depression in children?

Here’s the 5th post for #AtoZChallenge – 7 way in which FREE Play benefits Children

Here’s the 6th post for #AtoZChallenge – Communication – A Key To Build A Strong Foundation in Kids

Here’s the 7th post for #AtoZChallenge – Age-based Communication in Parenting

Here’s the 8th post for #AtoZChallenge – Importance of Quality Family Time

Here’s our 9th post for #AtoZChallenge –How to raise a child with Empathy

Here’s our 10th post for  #AtoZChallenge – Does Raising a Child need validation too?

The Author

Narendra Goidani

Narendra Goidani

Narendra Goidani, a.k.a Naren, is a dreamer and a people lover. An unshakable optimist he strives towards building a better world where everyone has a beautiful story to tell. He strongly believes that incredible parenting can change everyone human being’s life journey to something phenomenol. And that is his “Why” for building Wow Parenting.

A doting father to three dream-like kids, he brings you all his passion, insights, and lots of love in our online parenting course.

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