“Stop yelling now”…. “Clean your room quick” this do-as-I-say strict parenting can hurt your little one’s feelings. Parenting doesn’t have to be a battle. Many parents have no clue that their unconscious actions and choices have a negative impact on their kids. One of the primary steps to positive parenting is to notice what we are actually doing. Positive parenting tips educate on to pay attention when you are talking to your child, or handle the anger, or behave with them etc.
Why this awareness? Because your kid is alive copying machine –your way of talking, reasoning, behaving and so on will have a huge impact on their mindset.
Below are 10 positive parenting tips you must follow
1. Focus on controlling yourself—not your child
For any parent you ask, the answers will be the same – it’s tough to keep it cool when your child is throwing some kind of tantrums and arguing with you.
Yelling, shouting, scolding, spanking him/her is never going to help. In fact, that will have negative repercussions on your kid. Remember your child is learning from you – in extreme cases when you are about to burst out, taking a deep breath and count till 10. This will help to calm down your anger.
2. Exploit the “energy drain
Does your little one find it impossible to sit still? Kids with high energy are perfectly normal. This gives them independence which naturally leads to more active behavior. However, keeping pace with a high energy kid can be exhausting. You can find positive ways to eliminate or redirect his/her spirits that make them hyper.
Enroll them in sports, get the new gear, and most importantly watch their diet. It’s also important to cut out on caffeine or sugar intake.
3. Don’t bribe
It may look tempting to give in the demands of your child especially when they are misbehaving. Offering the reward gives a wrong message to your kid, that is “You’ll be getting paid for behaving well”.
Experts suggest that one of the good parenting skills is to spend time with your children. Connect with your child on a one-on-one basis. Get inside your child’s head – this way you’ll get to know what are their mood swings, what triggers them, what makes them happy, what are their expectations from you etc. Hug them often, let them know that you love them unconditionally to tame down their aggression.
4. Give your child the power of a positive attitude:
Kids are sensitive and they easily notice and pick up things. Consider yourself as a mirror when you are with them. What you emit, your child will feel and become. This in-depth insight will help you become more mindful about your behavior and attitude towards them.
Make a choice of being positive as to what you give out, your kids are the first people to notice and grasp it.
5. Imbibing sensible beliefs:
Our beliefs often work as a guide for our actions. Often these beliefs are usual norms and rules which work in our favor.
For instance, your child gets irritated towards your idea of you going to the grocery store after picking him from kindergarten. It’s natural he is tired, feeling hungry and wants to get home as quickly as possible. You may feel annoyed towards your child’s behavior but think your kid is actually doing you a favor which is perhaps the right practice for him and you as well.
If you sense your thought is based on your intuition, you are most likely to have sensed the true need of your child. Stick to this gut feeling which feels right.
6. Trust & involve your child:
Make a practice to include your child when it comes to decision making. Let your child have some degree of say, this will teach them the skills of making choices and taking up the responsibility.
By letting your kid make a decision, your children get to learn how the power of the gut feeling works and to trust their intuitions.
7. Try to understand your child:
When your child is aggressive, angry or misbehaving try to understand his/her behavior behind those emotions. Remain patient and tune into your child’s mind. Try to figure out what kind of need is your child expecting from you for e.g. touch, attention, acceptance, hunger etc. When you try to think from your child’s perspective, you’d know the reasons behind their actions. This is simple yet a very effective positive parenting skill that every parent should implement.
8. Use strategic humor to motivate:
Having a humorous environment at home is healthy. You’ll probably inspire your kids more towards doing their chores while having a fun atmosphere.
For e.g. when your kid has left his/her room dirty, instead of getting irritated you can use a lighter tone to get things done. You can use some phrases like “toss the dirty clothes into the laundry basket” etc.
9. Find ways to say yes:
The trouble with saying “NO” to your kid is he/she becomes more aggressive and pushing. If your child wants something or wishes to do something which you find it wrong, don’t say ‘NO’ directly. Find other alternatives instead.
They are kids after all and have no good understanding of good or bad. If your kid is a toddler, finding a distraction can be a good option, but if it is a teen, strike a conversation and justify your reasons of saying ‘No’.
10. Appreciate children for being good:
Kids are responsive to praise. Some parents do not believe in appreciating or praising kids. However, the pieces of evidence speak something different. Kids respond readily toward praise than criticism. If you are thinking that criticizing kids all the time will help them improve, you are wrong.
“Good job”, “well done” “you are amazing”, using such positive words can work wonders in boosting your child’s self-confidence and tones down their rash behavior.
It’s a universal law, what you focus on you’ll get it. The same works with kids. If you have a positive impression on your kids, your kid will do his/her best to live up to your expectations.
Kids are beautiful and sensitive people but they aren’t all alike. Some kids are tough to handle whereas some are easy going and understanding. Hence, parents need to handle them with patience.