How to stop the constant power struggle with your child.
Your first goal is to work to calm yourself down. Second, prepare how YOU want to behave regardless of how your child is behaving. Just think about how you want to act no matter what your child is doing. Thirdly, say to yourself, “If my child misbehaves with me, I’m not going to yell back or respond in an angry voice. I’m going to take deep breaths. I am going to say, “Let’s talk about this after we both calm down.”
Stay clear, calm, and matter of fact. If your child continues to be upset or agitated, ignore or avoid them. Do not react based on the feeling of the moment. I know this isn’t easy— it’s something all parents really have to work at.
Here is the most difficult part. If you can do this, I believe you can, you’ve excelled as a ‘wow parent’. Expect BETTER rather than worse from your child. Respond from that place of ‘believing in him’. When you’re carrying expectations, your child reads that. He can read an expression that says, “My child is a loser,” just as he can read one that says, “I have faith that we can do better on this one today. Let’s figure it out.”
How you look at the child will have a huge impact on how the power struggle ultimately plays out.