Sex Talks With Your Children?
Yes, you read that right. We agree you have been waiting to get answers. We recently conducted an FB LIVE on ‘How to talk about SEX with your children,’ co-hosted by UNIMO- Universal Moms. During this FB live session, we received a lot of interesting questions. We know some of the questions are on your mind too. So here are best-chosen Q & A’s from FB LIVE on ‘How to talk about ‘SEX’ with children?’
1) How to talk about “SEX” with Children?
There are various aspects of life about which parents are very much comfortable in discussing with children. For example, studies, discipline or peer pressure. But when it comes to sensitive topics like condoms or anything that is related to sex, parents generally avoid it or give unrealistic answers.
The current problem of the parents is, children are more advanced. They are explored to various types of content. For example, they know what a kiss means. They are curious and freely ask questions about products like condoms or sanitary napkins. But parents, somewhere are not ready on how to handle or answer such questions. This topic also needs to be handled in a comfortable way, like any other discussion would be handled.
For instance, if your 10-year-old son has a query about maths, you help him solve, don’t you? Then if he comments suppose on the kissing scene on the television, why do you get indulged in your phone?
What you are supposed to do here is ASK. “Beta, you just commented on this scene, but do you know what it actually means?” All your conversations about sex should have a basic foundation for asking questions related to it.
For more clarification on how to have a conversation about it, watch this video.
2) What should be the right age to talk about “SEX”?
It’s never too early and it’s never too late to start talking with your kid about sex. Today even if the child has crossed the age of 12 he knows a lot about ‘Sex.’
How? Because of the information available on various media that they are explored too.
Ask if they have any questions related to things that they are watching. Make your image as ‘ Open Parents.’ When you hide any information from the children you ignite their curiosity. It’s always better to extinguish it then and there.
Parents should be the first one to discuss it. If parents hide it, they will find another resource to get the information which may misguide them. They may go to their friends’ place. Google about it and then sensitive topic like ‘SEX’ will be conceived wrongly in the minds of the children. They will seek for the information from the different source just because the right source shut them up. The right age to talk about ‘SEX’ is whenever your child starts asking questions about it.
3) How did the baby enter the mother’s womb?
Have you ever received this type of question from your little one?
Oops! Now, what do I say?
Here’s the answer.
Be very casual with them. Explain it with an example.
Give your child a seed and ask her to plant it and let her see it grow. Explain to her that similarly, a seed was planted inside the mother by the father. The god keeps on asking Mumma, ‘Do you want this child?’ Every time the Mumma says ‘YES’ the child grows. This seed is only planted by pappa inside mom’s womb. The beautification of this issue is totally in the hands of parents.
Watch this video for the more detailed answer.
4) What are “Condoms”?
Mumma, what are these? Who wears it & why?
Did you answer it or you just ignored it?
Parents must not avoid such questions just by saying, it is an adult thing. It makes children more curious.
But again how do you answer?
Parents generally tend to use funny names for the genitals. Let’s call vagina as a vagina and a penis as a penis. Let’s fix this in our children’s head first. Start with telling the truth.
It is worn by the male on his genitals to avoid unwanted pregnancies and any sexually transmitted diseases. Educate them about it. It is just like we wear gloves while cleaning the house so we don’t get infected.
This video will help you answer it in the most comfortable and in an unawkward way.
5) How to talk about “SEX” with introvert children of any age?
Yes, we received this question during our FB LIVE with MUMO.
What if my child is an introvert and shy? How do I talk about ‘SEX’ with him?
The answer is your child is shy or is not curious enough to discuss it. It’s better not to impose it on them. When the child is hesitant to talk about it, time the discussion wisely. Once in ages, you can approach him and try talking it out. Ask him if they have any questions. Express your will to answer it.
There is another way to handle this. If your children are not discussing with you but you think he/she is curious, you just have to observe their behavior in public.
How do they look at another sex? Children are scared of parents judging them. ‘What if my dad shouts at me if I ask this to him?’ ‘Can I discuss this with my parents too? But they are not cool parents.’
Get the more detailed answer here. Watch the complete video.
6) How to handle a child who insists on having his/her own baby?
Haha, funny isn’t it?
Children’s innocence makes us love them more. Children love babies. When they see one, many insist on having their own baby. Yes, many parents are troubled and don’t know how to handle this bomb.
You can just simplify it. ‘Yes, of course, you can have a baby. How about parenting a pet first?’
Make them list down the responsibilities that they will have to take. They do not know what it means to be a parent. They just want to imitate you. Love someone the way you love them.
Bonus question in this video- How to explain about the attraction for the opposite sex?
Unveil answer in this short video.
7) How to talk about “Periods” with your children?
“Mumma, what are pads? Why can’t I use it?” Rashmi, my friend Shruti’s six-year-old daughter asks this to her mother. She was hassled. Had no clue on how to answer this. Once again, we would love to emphasize on giving real-life examples to children to talk about it. Do not say that it is momma’s diaper. It is misleading.
Here it is beautifully explained by Your Parenting Coach- Narendra Goidani. He always makes it easier for all of us.
He once traveled to Ahmedabad. During his tour, he came across this beautiful image of ‘The menstruating peepal.’
This tree is a holy tree. Its installation is meant to resonate the idea that you are entering an environment that celebrates tradition but not taboos.
Menstruation is still a taboo in our country. How can we break it? Simply by educating the coming generation about it. Don’t you agree? Show your child this menstruating peepal. Help them further understand this with this image & video.