25 Mar

Que: My son is 14 and he is dating girl and stopped focusing on studies.

My son is 14 n half in 9 th std…. he is very intelligent , studies independently and is in toppers of the class. But lately …. i came to know… he is attracted towards a girl( they r dating since last yr ..he told me so)Now the problem is… he is losing his focus on his studies n hv started bckanswering n hv become very moody.He wants his mobile n also throws tantrums. M worried he is going in wrong direction. So Naren …hw should i explain to him … tht this age is more to keep his mind on studies than to other things.

Answer By: Naren

Hi Neelam, You are a good mother. Well done in parenting. Going ahead, here are a few suggestions. Allow him to speak his heart whenever he feels like, about his crush. Listen as a 14-year young friend and NOT AS A MOTHER. Guide him as his 14-year young friend from school. Create some mobile rules AS A FAMILY. These rules should be decided in a full family meeting and need EVERYONE's buy-in. This means the mobile rules are not just for him but for ALL. Rules that are ONLY for him will NOT work. Be confident he will soon outgrow this crush. All of us DID. Share with him about your crush if you ever had. This will make it easier for him to be completely transparent.  Ask him if he needs support to stay on track and not get distracted. If he says no, show him proof that he did get distracted and that HE NEEDS support and that it is very natural to have support.  Ensure he never feels judged. Remain firm about the efforts you need from him for his priorities.  Keep smiling and keep the atmosphere light at home. All the best Neelam

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