Children look up to parents for validation, love, and appreciation. What will happen if they receive anger in return? It will stress and frustrate them. Ultimately, they will throw tantrums. As a result of this, we as a parent again lose our temper. All this happened because patience with parenting is lacking in the whole scenario.
Patience with parenting is essential at every stage of the growth of the children. It serves as a reminder that children will make mistakes at every stage of their life. They are in the process of exploring themselves, and they will go wrong. As a grown-up, we need to keep a lot of patience while considering their mistakes.
Similarly, on the other hand, it is true that there will be a time when we will be on the edge of losing it.
Here are two unique and quick ways to improve your patience with parenting.
- Physical Actions
- Short-term measures
A) Physical Actions-
- Deep breathing– It’s very cliched, but it’s a proven formula. Take 3 deep breaths and you will see yourself calming down.
- Blow into your hand– Now this is something unique! Take your hand and blow air into that. You will be surprised to see your patience improving rapidly.
- Clench your fist and release- When you are about to lose your patience, clench your fist tight and release it. You will feel relaxed.
- Ask for a hug– When you are angry with your child, ask for a hug. A fit of anger creates distance in hearts. And a hug can melt it. Remember, the line from the film Frozen, ‘An act of true love for the frozen heart.’
B) Short-term measures-
- Buy time– Ask for two minutes when you feel like you are losing on your patience. Those two golden minutes can calm you down. Practice deep breathing or any other physical activity “Give me 5 minutes I will get back to you.’ Do not rush to take any actions or reaction. Time heals everything. Take as many minutes as you want, but come back with patience.
- Count your blessings– Bless yourself that you have such a wonderful kid. There are parents out there who have kids with the worst behaviour. Comparatively, our children are angels to us. Count on all the good things of our children. Look at the positive side. It will help you calm down yourself and improve your patience with parenting.
- Keep the big picture in mind- Think about the future before you comment, decide or act anything. How would you like to nurture your child one year down the line? Your patience will improve if you think about the future more. It is possible that what is worrying you today will be absolutely unimportant in two year’s time. When you have a bigger picture in mind you will find present problem solving a little easier.
So you buy time to count on your blessings and you try and find the solution within that time thinking about the future prospects. The combination of these three will work brilliantly well.
Here’s the bonus-
Two quick tips to improve patience with parenting-
- Visualization– Instead of saying I am angry, say I am feeling anger. There is a deep psychological study behind it. When we say ‘I am angry.’ It depicts the permanent state of a frame of our mind. We end up defining ourselves as a fit of anger. Whereas when we say, ‘I am feeling anger,’ we consider anger as a small part of us. It helps us consider. Which I know I can deal with and it is a temporary phenomenon. It does not mean I feel angry all the time. A small change in the sentence will improve your ability to keep patience will slowly improve.
- Unmet needs– Remember that behind every unloving behaviour of the child there is a profound unmet need of validation, support, and appreciation. Talk with your child when he/she is behaving well. A conversation with your child can solve a lot of problems. Understand what their unsaid needs are.