Dealing with kids “problem behavior”

Kids of different age groups exhibit evolving and changing behavior patterns. Some yell, some scream, some grow quieter with age, some shy away from speaking their mind, so on and so forth. In the midst of managing work, home, other relationships commitments, we don’t know how to tackle these changing behavior patterns in our kids. It becomes especially tough when we witness disturbing/undisciplined behavior or “problem behavior” in our kids.
The usual parental thoughts…
Here’s what we parents usually wonder, when we witness “problem behavior” in our kids:

• Should I ignore the behavior and trust that it’ll go away with time?
• If I ignore the behavior, will it really ever go away?
• Is there something that I can do to help fix this behavior?

What we need to understand…

Obsessing over a certain child behavior is detrimental for everyone’s emotional health. Look objectively at the behavior to see if it is indeed a problem behavior or do we just need a shift in our perspective. Sometimes, kids exhibit some behavior at different ages. So, we should find out if it is normal for a child of a certain age to act in a certain way.

Should we parents do anything to fix this?

Here are a few thoughts to look at, once we are certain that we are looking at a “problem behavior.” We can use these as pointers to understand what we need to do in the face of a “problem behavior.”
1.Think about the situation with a calm mind. Ask yourself “Is the behavior a problem for the child?” Is the child getting impacted adversely due to his/her behavior? If yes, then look at the next step.
2. The child probably needs help in learning how to deal with certain situations or emotions. Is his/her anger stemming from being misunderstood? Is the shyness and hurt stemming from a place of distrust? Dig a little deeper and you will find if there is a problem at all.
3. On the contrary, if the behavior is a problem for the parent, and not for the child, can it be ignored? If both the parents agree on this, maybe the kids will grow out of this behavior. In that case, just ignore it.
4. If you both parents agree that it’s annoying behavior, then do something reasonable about it. But always remember to be respectful, kind, and loving towards your kids, even when you are thinking in your head that “He/she is driving me up the wall!”
4. If none of what you do works, simply ask for help from your friends, folks, or parenting experts. A new perspective is always a good idea.

Are you having difficulty with a “problem behavior” in your kids? Do write to us about it. We would love to hear and help.
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