When we were parented, I don’t remember a change in the parent’s behavior. They were strict all the time. Maybe the importance of consistency in parenting was not even discussed among our parents. But why today? Why it is necessary to understand the importance of consistency in parenting in this new age? Let us get to know about it in details.
What is Consistency in Parenting?
When it comes to effective parenting, bringing consistency is essential. It is about how you as a parent connect emotionally with children and how the entire family operates on getting things done. Let me explain it with the example.
Our Parenting coach Narendra Goidani, always tells this rule to make communication effective with the children. He emphasizes having the same rules for the whole family. If the rule is set that no television after 10.00 PM, means all the family members must follow this rule. This is called consistency in parenting.
On the emotional side, consistency in parenting means choosing the right way to communicate with your child. Mother and father should always be on the same page. The choice should never change over a period of time too. Consistency in not yelling at children and calming down ourselves requires a hell lot of patience. But we cannot imagine how this structured and consistent parenting will help our child grow.
What is the importance of consistency in parenting?
The era is changing. The number of nuclear families is increasing. Children getting addicted and exposed to various media is growing rapidly. New age parenting needs consistency in parenting in this inconsistently changing world.
If they change children will respond to every situation differently. When children start learning they learn to analyze, rehearse and repeat things. Just like doing math or learning ABCDs, they rehearse and repeat behavior too. They want to know how my mom or dad respond to my certain behavior.
When parents are firm on their reactions, children know what to expect. Your child will be able to predict how my mom reacts when I throw toys on the ground in anger. This absolutely doesn’t mean that they are trying to trigger your patience. They are actually trying to see if your reaction changes. Over a period of time, your child will stop doing those things and will start feeling safe in your consistency.
When children know that they have to study for 07.00 PM-08.30 PM and then watch TV, they feel safe and make better choices. It is better to understand the importance of consistency in parenting as it has a very deep and significant impact on the children’s mind.
Tips on how to do be a consistent parent.
Team up with your partner.
It has to be the ground rule for any parenting. When you understand the importance of consistency in parenting, immediately you have to team up with your partner.
Let’s take an example. What if your child wishes to skip the studies and wants to play. Mom and dad should stand together and be consistent with their choices. If a mom says NO, Dad must say NO too. Their liking and disliking about the parents will start taking place. ‘I like dad more because he never says ‘No’ to me.’ It also depicts the marriage conflicts even if there aren’t any. children observe how parents behave with each other. When their opinions differ, they may start thinking that there is something wrong with them.
Define your role
The FUTURE of your CHILD depends on the kind of PARENT you have decided to be. So decide your role. Ask yourself, How do I want to grow my child? How should I react when my child starts throwing tantrums? Like mentioned before, team up with your partner. Take your spouse’s advice to clarify your confusions about certain situations. When you know what you have to do, you will find the ways on how to do it.
Know your challenges
You know your children best. So, keep a track of your child’s unloving behavior. It will help you understand what you need to improve in your child. What are the actions you as a couple need to take to bring changes? For example, if your child is too hesitant to share his things with someone, you will have to play some tricks here. So you know your challenge. You just need to understand what will help your child in that.
Know how you will react
It is always better to know how you will react to certain situations. It is important while being consistent in parenting because you want to respond in a similar way every time.
Your son too often is throwing tantrums and demanding unhealthy things. How will you react? Your daughter has dropped grades because of unplanned study schedule. What will you do?
Not just you, but sometimes you will have to assume your spouse’s reaction to certain situations. That is the time when you take over the charge and handle the situation. Understand when it is important for both of you to talk. Few situations will trigger the patience in mother, and some will make father angry. In such situations, don’t forget the basic rule of teaming up. But let one do the talking with the children. It balances the situation and resolves it without the conflict.
To conclude, don’t let anger or anxiety take over your conscious. Buy time, when necessary. Think about what you want to say and probable consequences of it. Importance of consistency in parenting is better known today than never. Because we need to make our children ready for all the possible challenges in the new era.