“I love my job, but I also love my children!”
Working parents keep juggling and try to give their best at work and at home. They have their deadlines but they also need to be present at the PTA meets. If not that, then there comes exams and revisions. Above all this chaos, your boss keeps hovering around your desk for the results. What would you do?
The bitter truth is; these days one person’s income isn’t sufficient to sustain the family. Hence, the ultimate option is that both spouses should work. In some cases, there are situations where the woman is capable enough to work well. She builds a platform for herself in her profession.
Yet, when she isn’t able to give enough time for her children she feels guilty. Many questions start buzzing in her mind. Am I doing something wrong? Since I am working outside the house, will I be able to excel in parenting?
We are here with a few ideas on how you can excel in parenting while working outside. These ideas will guide you to ease your parenting efforts. Simply take care of these ways and you won’t feel guilty regarding your parenting skills.
Mind-blowing ideas to help working parents excel in parenting:
1. Create a great support system around you:
It is almost compulsory and important to have a great support system. Without it, there will always be a tiny challenge to excel as a working parent. A support system is someone who you can rely on. Someone you can trust completely. Your parents, brother or sisters who live nearby, perhaps your maid. The crucial thing here is that you know them well enough.
The second kind of support system is the daycare centers. Daycare centers conduct exercises, activities that enable child growth. Your child can play there after school. For your assurance, you can live chat with your child. When you take a break, you can talk to your child about what he/she is doing. In this way, you just cherish seeing your child enjoy.
How do you make a great support system?
In some cases, money can play a great role. This will benefit you and your child find a great daycare system. In other cases, your ability to build good relations with people will help you a lot. There are some families where the in-laws won’t get along. But, with your calm and connected behavior, you will be able to convince them as well.
2. Have clear roles between you and your spouse:
When the mother has to take care of all the responsibilities at home, it becomes a difficult task. She works her way through every minute detail that needs to be done for the day. When children come in the picture it gets even more difficult.
Discuss with your partner about your responsibilities in parenting. Divide the work you both will be doing. This doesn’t need to be permanent. You can switch your roles every week if you need.
Let the father be responsible for getting the children ready in the morning. Ask him to help the children with their homework. Once a while, ask him to tuck the children in bed at night. This will help you relax for a while. These gestures from both the parents will also help the child to connect with you both in a better way.
3. Have beautiful small memories with your child:
Many parents postpone their happiness in small things and keep waiting for big events. “Not now, let’s go on a trip for 5 days this summer!”. Sure, if you go to France with your children you will have a great time. You might plan such trips once a year or after every 8-9 months. But, this won’t truly enhance your parent-child relationship.
Everybody needs happiness every day, the way we need oxygen to breathe, the way we need food to eat. Similarly, the need for a human being to look forward in life is to be happy every day.
You and your children deserve such memories. Above all, you deserve the happiness you will gain through this. Can you have such small moments of happiness with your children? Sure!
When you go home from work hug your children. Ask them how their day was. Ask them if they did anything interesting that day. Spend a few minutes of joy with them with a broad smile.
Cuddling your child, hugging, even rolling with your child for fun would be enough. This will bring you happiness even with those office clothes on. Above all, your children feel being wanted by you. They will know that their parents will be waiting for the whole day to meet them. Even if your children grow up there must be something in common they like.
Maybe they watch some series on Netflix. Ask them which series they watch. What happened in today’s episode? Such small conversations will also bring your children close to you.
Get some candies home every Friday. Watch a serial together. Write a small note saying ‘Love you’ in the tiffin box. Take a few crazy selfies together.
4. When you are with your children let them be the center of your universe:
Just like our body needs detox diets, go on technology detox when you are with your children. Give them all your attention. Let them believe that they are of the utmost importance to you. Let them know that you won’t be distracted by anything when you are with them.
When your child is talking don’t simply nod your head saying, “Hmmm.”. No. that doesn’t work. Keep your work aside, look into their eyes and start your conversation.
“Yes, my darling. Share what you have to share.” These simple words will provide warmth to your children. They will forget the little burdens they have in their hearts of being judged by their teacher. Maybe they helped a friend but the friend didn’t help back, or maybe somebody spoke badly about them.
Children do have their problems that ache their heart. These problems might not seem big enough for us but they are for children. Children go through this just like adults.
Your few minutes of attention and warmth can ease their pain. They look for a place of security at home. A place where they are important, where nobody judges them. A place where they are appreciated and adored. Be that place for your children. Let them know that you love them. Words are important, so are the gestures. Through your gestures let them know ‘You mean the world to me’.
At your workplace, the boss will have an alternate option. In your child’s life, they will not be able to find an alternative.
Spending the whole day with your children won’t ensure their love for you. It is how you spent the time with them. Being a working parent will give you limited time to spend with your children. You can use that time wisely to get close to them. There is no need to feel guilty about spending less time with them. Just begin to churn the ways you spend that time with your children.
You can be a regular parent with no extraordinary insights into parenting. But if you can create these moments of sparkles in your house you have excelled as a parent. If you can create happiness in your child’s life, they will grow up very well.