Is your child feeling neglected? Are you trying hard but not able to give quality time to your kid? Well, this is another parenting issue that the majority of the parents are experiencing while trying to balance their family and work life. Well, neglectful parenting can have a deep impact on your child’s mind which takes a lot of time to heal. Neglecting can be tough to heal especially when it is emotional neglect.
What is neglectful parenting?
Uninvolved parenting is often known as “Neglectful parenting” which means parents seem to be distant emotionally and have no or low interest in raising their kids.
It might not be a deliberate gesture but, unknowingly parents neglect their kids and as a result, the kid seems to be emotionally hurt, have anxiety issues, lack of confidence and seem to push people away when they are growing up because they fear of being dependent on anybody else. It is not proven but mostly such scenario is seen in a household where both the parents are working.
Characteristics of neglectful parenting style:
The characteristics or signs of neglectful parenting can be generic. Therefore; before you tag yourself as a neglectful parent, read the below-mentioned characteristics:
1. Lack of supervising children:
When it comes to supervising kids, this kind of parenting can be categorized mainly in 2 types i.e. they never supervise their kid or they’ll keep their kids grounded all the time.
The first category of parents do not ever bother about their kids and what they are doing. They barely know about their kid’s whereabouts, activities, and schedules. The parents do not like to practice discipline.
The second category of parents like to keep an eye on each and every move of their child. They’ll like to have them around all the time hence such parenting prevents the development of the kids.
2. Emotionally detached:
Some parents think that parenting is a duty – a duty to provide shelter and food hence do not care about the other needs of their children. They do not ask their kids about their studies, daily activities, etc. hence kids feel emotionally detached and avoid any confrontation with the parents.
3. Leading a busy lifestyle:
With the increasing work pressure and trying to juggle a family and work life, the parents are finding it tough when it comes to parenting. The parents are too occupied with their work lives that they have no clue of what they are neglecting (their kids). Because of the work pressure and financial stress, they end up spending less time with their kids.
4. Not able to express love:
This is a generic problem that has been witnessed by child development experts. Some parents are unable to express their love like giving hugs or showing some kind of bonding towards their kids. Not showing warmth to the kids does not help or motivate kids hence they often lack self-confidence in the future.
5. Influence of abusive substances or drugs:
If the home environment is abusive or parents are alcoholic it is natural for a kid to pick up that habit especially when there is no one to bother or ask. Parents with bad temperaments, lack of financial stability at home results in neglectful parenting.
Effects of uninvolved or disengaged parenting style:
Benefits of neglectful parenting style:
- Since the kid is left “alone” at a very early age, he/she is forced to learn and handle the situations themselves. The kids are on their own hence they are self-motivated.
- Parents who have little time in hand, their kids are left out with no choice but to grow on their own. This also reduces the possibility of developing post-traumatic stress disorder that the majority of the kids are experiencing when they grew up under their controlling parents.
2. Negative traits of neglectful parenting style:
- Children raised with a neglectful parenting style often have difficulties in forming emotional attachments later in life.
- Additionally, many of these children resort to dangerous substances like alcohol, cigarettes or even illegal substances.
- Imagine the stress your child will feel knowing they have no one to talk and share and to depend on. The emotional neglect your child is experiencing can hinder with an ability to create emotional healthy bonds with people in the future.
Why do parents adopt this style of parenting?
Parents at times have no clue and cannot differentiate between raising their kids “independent” and “neglecting to parent”. The reasons for adopting this style of parenting are:
1. Betterment of the kids:
Like told earlier, they are unable to differentiate between making a child independent and neglecting it. Parents think that they are raising a tough and strong child so that they don’t have any problems in facing the challenges.
2. Since the parents suffered, the kids should not:
Well, there are these types of parents who believe in having the same parenting style the way they were raised; thinking that might help their kid know and value the things in life.
3. Work-family imbalance:
With successful, thriving careers it makes it impossible for the parents to balance the parenting responsibilities, hence this results in uninvolved parenting. Their challenging lifestyles make it tough for them to take out time for their kids.
4. Unaware of the kid’s responsibility:
There are parents who have no idea what to do or not to do with their kids. This causes confusion, therefore, there is an indifferent attitude towards their child.
5. Self-centered parents:
Some parents are too self-centered or we also know as disengaged parenting where they are least concerned about the well-being and the needs of others and this includes their kids as well.
How to come out of neglectful parenting style:
If you are finding that your kid is feeling neglected or missing the kind of attention he should have, the best way to overcome this situation is getting involved with them on a day to day basis.
Participate with them in their activities when they come home from school ask how their day was, what are they planning to do next, will they like to watch a movie in the coming weekend, etc.
Start spending more and more time with the kid giving all your attention. Take a keen interest to know the likes and dislikes of your child. Ask them if they are disturbed about something or calm them if they fidgeting over some incident or they are feeling anxious. Talk to them about their fears and offer warmth and love to come out of the problem and get back on the right track of healthy parenting.
If one of the partners finds that the other is neglecting the child, it is essential to talk to the other parent. If there is a need to approach a therapist or a counselor it is advisable to do so.
By doing so, the parents are able to work on their own personal problems which might be interfering with their parenting.
It is clear after looking at the consequences of neglectful parenting that this is different from effective parenting skill. In order to raise confident kids who are emotionally healthy and resilient, provide them with the warmth, support, love, appropriate, guidance, discipline, and structure that they can trust and grow happily.